Plant Murder?

If its yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.

Scoff if you will, but I’m living in the midst of a drought. My car remains unwashed (I finally have a valid reason for that!) and my showers and tooth washing and clothes washing are all responsibly done. But until today, just now, it stopped there. 

I have houseplants. A lot of houseplants. If they were cats I would be “that” person. There wouldn’t be a reason to call the ASPCA but you’d wonder about me. Of course, the good thing about houseplants is that no one really notices them the way you most assuredly notice cats. No one really cares. 

Plants are my compromise. They are a way for me to care for something without having to worry too much about taking a trip, or moving abruptly. If necessary, I can give them away. No one considers you a bad person for abandoning a succulent. When vacationing, I can usually count on a friend to water them; once in a three week period is usually reasonable for both plants and helpful friends. 

Plants seems like such benign things. Only, just tonight, my orchid was dry, which prompted me to make the rounds to the other eight plants in my house, and I realized that I’m wasting water. Sort of.

All over California, debates are raging and folks are making lifestyle changes (or being judged for not making lifestyle changes). People are pulling up their grass and replacing it with a fake substitute or, less strange, with indigenous plants that require less water. 

Meanwhile, in my house, plants abound and most aren’t indigenous and easy on their water intake. My apartment has little direct sunlight, despite my many windows, and succulents don’t really thrive in here. So, instead of a terrarium full of glossy plump leaves that fancy desert-like environments, I have a hodge podge of gifted and purchased plants that I water weekly or so. 

I can’t even eat any of them. 

Struck by the idea that I’m wasting water, I quickly searched the internet. Google has an answer to every other question, why not this? While I found all kinds of interesting information (which plants clean the air the best and how to use graywater) nothing stated whether I should murder my plants and turn them to compost.

I’ve decided to let them live. Newly inspired to use my shower runoff in a number of ways, my guilt is sated for the moment.